


New York Times

by lake_otter



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, danisnotonfire - Freeform, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3849772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lake_otter/pseuds/lake_otter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They get to their room, close the door and Dan looks at Phil as he turns the little lock-thingy three times extra.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New York Times

"It all looks like Hunger Games to me", says Dan.

Phil contemplates his answer for a moment. He's still on the floor, but he's stopped rummaging through his suitcase, where he was trying to find a fresh T-shirt for himself. It's hopeless anyway. Dan's messed up his, well, everything inside of it.

"I don't think..."

"No, seriously. They brought us all here with like what, one-day notice. Who does that? Which respectful company? And it was the first test. The ones that make it to New York successfully, pass".

"If it was really a Youtube test, they would have made sure that people like Felix or Shane Dawson made it".

"But that's just it", Dan exclaims, waving his arms around. Phil quickly sits on the bed to spare his head from getting punched, just in case. "That's it. There's lots of famous people missing, no Felix or Shane, no Caspar, no Zoella, no finebrothers. But famousness level doesn't exactly matter, because they're making something new, something..."

"Finn Harris has arrived today", says Phil, "but no Jack. You think they'd separate twins?"

"If they make us all kill each other in the end, it's probably for the best".

"Oh. Right."

"I just want to go sleep or die somewhere", whines Dan, sitting on the opposite bed, "we should have just not come. Why could Jim or Marcus decide that they may stay home, and we couldn't? I think I am physically not capable of having fun in such state, jet-lag and all".

"It surprises me that it even is about fun. It was supposed to be a business thing".

Dan jumps up again.

"Exactly! This is what makes it even more ridiculous. They made us drop everything we were doing and come here like Youtube headquarters were on fire or something, and now all they want us to do is eat fancy food, play with our new tablets and look at David Blane being drowned, for fuck's sake".

"It's not too bad", Phil tries to argue weakly.

"It's fucking weird. And inconvenient. And did I say fucking weird?"

Phil's phone beeps, it's probably a message with updated evening schedule or something. They both cringe when Dan's beeps as well, confirming the theory.

"I can't wait to go home", says Phil honestly. "I just. I want to get in our bed and stay there. I miss the bed. I miss the freaking bed, what am I, ninety?"

"I know what you mean, though".

"Sit down with me for a bit".

Dan sits close to him, and they keep quiet. The window is open, and they can hear birds chirping in the park faintly, but mostly it's just traffic noise and loud taxi honking.

"About the Hunger games", says Dan, when he's done with not talking.

"You still onto that".

"Damn right I am. I mean, vidcons and signings are one thing. All youtubers do get together from time to time, but we're not supposed to fucking mingle or whatever. Nor must we do that on real business meetings. I guess, it's all right to meet some, but the crowd..."

"You don't have to tell me".

"And here it's like a forceful imitation of a kindergarden playground or something. We share nothing with most of these people. And they share nothing with each other as well. We just all make videos that are appealing for some reason to large crowds of internet-browsing people. That's the extent of our common features. Although even our fans are all different people. I mean, which fans watch me, you and Joey Graceffa at the same time?"

"I bet there are lots".

"Okay. Maybe you are right. But there's still no reason to force such things. And what about the marketing? I mean, I know some guys are vlogging, Louise does and Joey definitely does. But mostly it's just not going anywhere. So it's like, like, this all big thing, tons of money spent, is for our pleasure only. But at the same time it's forced on us. It's..."

"Fucking weird, you said".

Dan looks at him incredulously. 

"Did you just swear?"

"I was repeating what you said earlier".

"Say it again".

Phil laughs,

"Does it turn you on or something?"

"Whatever. Fine, don't say it, I don't want it anymore".

"You know what I was thinking".

"What".

"If we don't read those messages blinking on our phones right now, I mean, we can't know when we're expected today".

Dan's eyes widen.

"No, we can't".

"How about we don't read them for a bit, then, aye?"

"Aye", Dan's full on smirking now.

"Come here".

**

"Are you alright?", Phil asks, he's breathing heavily and Dan can see he's terrified. It's a rare sight and Dan stops minding his own heart that's beating like mad.

"Yeah, I am, it's okay, Phil. Don't worry".

"I mean", Phil shakes his head, "Let's just go upstairs, okay".

They get to their room, close the door and Dan looks at Phil as he turns the little lock-thingy three times extra.

"Seriously. I'm fine", he tries.

Phil sits on his bed, corners of his mouth are turned down and he's paler than usual. He says nothing, so Dan sits next to him.

"I think that was about as much fun as I can live through", he says jokingly, attempting to lighten the mood.

"I'm sorry for being..." Phil trails off.

"No, it's okay, I understand. I honestly got scared down there".

"I know. I saw."

Phil sits silently for a while, but it doesn't look like he's calming down.

"It's just that... we're too used to computer screens", he says finally.

"Real people, Phil. Real girls. But - little girls".

"Little monsters".

"Don't go Gaga on me".

"You know... I used to think, that anything that inspires people is worth it".

"You're obviously forgetting the hat fic. And anyway, don't go all deep philosophy here, Phil, there's no need. Just a bunch of crazy twelve-year-olds. Nobody even got us pregnant".

Phil sighs irritably, waves Dan off:

"You just don't understand. I watched them... I saw them almost push you on the ground, and I..."

It downs on Dan suddenly, what's troubling Phil. It's not the crazy girls that almost squeezed him to death outside the hotel, screaming and demanding pictures. It's the fact that he couldn't do anything about them attacking Dan.

His cheeks get red, and here he honestly thought they can't do that anymore.

"Phil..."

"Don't Phil me. You... you're taking it all differently somehow. I don't know. I've been making videos for nine years. And I. For God's sake, I thought we should quit today. Like a lightning thought, just - I want to get you out of here, and go get lost somewhere in Brazil or something. Because that's not what I signed up for".

"I..." says Dan and stops. He honestly haven't thought of any of that, mostly he was just trying to survive, his trail of thoughts consisted of "get through the rotating glass door, through the fucking rotating glass door, where's Phil, oh good, right behind me, oops, smile for another fucking camera, crouch, crouch, smile again, now back to the rotating door".

"How's it going to be on our tour, huh? Is it going to be worse? Is it going to be a disaster? Do we need to hire bodyguards or something now?"

"We're not Angelina Jolie".

"Doesn't seem to matter to them".

"Phil. You need to calm down".

"I just. I just want to be alone for a while, okay".

Phil goes to the bathroom, and Dan feels like he's been hit. He doesn't think Phil's ever said those words to him, not even at their worst.

"Don't make me suffer, what did I do", he wants to shout suddenly, getting angry, but stays quiet, because there's no point.

He paces around the room, mumbling to himself. Thinks about ordering room service, glances at the menu and remembers they sell wine here as well.

Phil turns on the shower.

Dan makes a call, and when Phil finally opens the bathroom door, letting moist hot air out, bathrobe making him look smaller and less out of place, Dan has already drunk a glass of red and filled one for Phil as well.

"I'm sorry", says Phil quietly, "I didn't want to be mean to you".

"It's going to be fine", says Dan, "It's not the end of the world".

Phil sits down in the armchair near the small window table, takes his glass.

"But let's not become alcoholics because of a bunch of fans".

"Let's not", agrees Dan, "And we have stuff to do in the evening, so we can't get very drunk anyway".

"Maybe it's part of you Hunger Games theory".

"What? The crazy girls?"

"Mm. I was thinking about getting through an important event wasted".

"But girls, too. They fit the theory perfectly. Poor Louise".

"Poor Louise", agrees Phil. She almost had a panic attack when she heard the screams outside the first time, and it wasn't even the worse crowd they've been through today. They should call her, actually, see how she's doing. Although Joey and Alfie probably took care of her.

"She wouldn't win the Hunger Games".

"Neither would we".

"I don't know", says Dan thoughtfully, "I was pretty chill, and I was getting it worse than you guys".

"You wouldn't win, because I wouldn't let you in".

"All this patronizing is turning me on. Not".

"I wouldn't be surprised, you get turned on by weird stuff".

"Yeah, like your Mum".

Phil groans. 

"How are we gonna get to the Youtube building, by the way?" asks Dan after they finish the wine.

"I have no idea. Should we call someone?"

"You know what", says Dan suddenly, "how about we call it a day".

Phil's forehead creases. He's usually much more into business side of things than Dan is, and missing something work-related does not sit well with him most days. But his voice is certain when he finally answers:

"Actually, it's a good idea".

"Pay-per-view evening?" asks Dan hopefully. He's smiling now. "More wine? Drink every time we see a whisk?"

Phil laughs.

Fin


End file.
